What does polyamory actually mean?
Polyamory describes a form of love life in which a person has, loves and has a relationship with multiple partners. What initially sounds like affairs is distinguished from cheating primarily by the aspects of familiarity and consent. Because within a polyamorous constellation, everyone knows about each other’s relationship status.
Linguistically, the term represents a neologism from the ancient Greek “polýs” (multiple) and the Latin word “amor” (love). Healthy polyamorous relationships are characterized by infatuation, sexuality and tenderness between everyone involved and long-term relationships. In polyamory, the equality of all genders and the emotional connection to the partners are considered to be the most important.
The latter differentiates the concept from the ideas of “free love”, relationship anarchy, and polygamy. Polygamy was originally used to describe marriage between multiple people, but in today’s language it usually refers to the concept of open relationships.
Who is polyamorous?
Polyamorous is someone who questions the traditional two-way relationship as the best form of relationship for themselves. The person rejects traditional marriage and instead strives for a relationship with several people at the same time. You don’t demand any exclusivity from your counterpart, even though you love each other.
The constellations in polyamory vary in terms of gender composition and the size of the group of people. One of the most well-known forms is the “triad”, i.e. a mutual love relationship between three people. Although they deviate from the classic values of monogamy, polyamorous people adhere to their own value concepts. The focus here is on honesty, loyalty, communication and respect. Everyone involved should always be aware of each other’s relationship and emotional status.
Still, for many, the biggest hurdle in polyamory is the feeling of jealousy. Because possessive thinking about one of the partners damages freedom and trust in the relationship. However, polyamorous people who overcome this obstacle say they find personal growth and self-development in the alternative way of life. Advances that monogamy would deny them. It is not without reason that many polyamorous people have often failed in monogamous relationships and realized that they do not fit into this form of love.
What you need to consider when it comes to polyamory
It is important that polyamory is not confused with “free love”. The distinguishing feature is primarily the necessary consent of all those involved in polyamorous relationships. In addition, it is not the sexual side, but the emotional side that is considered particularly important.
This also distinguishes polyamory from “relationship anarchy”. What you also have to know about the type of love is that a functioning polyamorous relationship requires considerable effort in the form of attention, time and communication. Creating consistent transparency can be very strenuous, plus the difficulty of jealousy. In severe cases, there is often talk of severe emotional stress, which is less common in monogamous relationships.
But with the efforts of everyone involved, polyamory can create a safe environment of love for multiple people. There they can develop and love without restriction.
What does polyamory have to do with BDSM?
Polyamorous relationship constellations, also known as polycules, are very common in BDSM circles because they offer the opportunity to explore different sexual interests, even if one partner does not share them.
Many BDSM supporters are probably more open to the concept of polyamory, as they are more willing to question usual norms in the area of love and sexuality, to open up to alternative concepts and to have feelings for more than just one to allow person.
