Content/trigger warning: term “slave”
Disclaimer: In this article we often talk about the Dominatrix as a female person. Of course, there are also male Dominatrices, called Dominus, or non-binary people who work as Dominatrices.
When one begins to explore BDSM, one of the first terms encountered is “Dominatrix.” Even in non-BDSM circles, the Dominatrix is one of the first terms or images that comes to mind when discussing sadomasochistic practices. What few people know is that there is also a male counterpart, the “Dominus.” For non-binary individuals, there hasn’t been a widely accepted term yet, and often “Dominatrix” is still used.
What is a Dominatrix or a Dominus?
A Dominatrix or Dominus is a person who offers sadomasochistic practices for payment. However, a classic Dominatrix usually does not offer sexual intercourse. Nevertheless, through their services, they meet the sexual needs of their clients, making them sex workers and falling under prostitution laws. Dominatrices who offer both BDSM and sexual practices often refer to themselves as “Bizarre Ladies.” Clients who visit one of these service providers are typically referred to as slaves during the interaction. Although the term “slave” can trigger individuals due to its historical baggage and alternative terms exist, it is still commonly used in the German and English-speaking community. The Dominatrix is often addressed with titles such as Mistress, Goddess, or Lady.
A person who pursues this profession does not necessarily have to be dominant. However, a preference for sadistic practices, role plays and humiliation certainly increases authenticity. Nevertheless, many prostitutes, escorts, cam girls and sex workers also offer BDSM to expand their target group.
What does a Dominatrix do?
Each Dominatrix decides for himself or herself about the range of services and practices. Some of them consider themselves untouchable or inviolable. Strictly interpreted, this means that the person receiving the service is not allowed to touch the mistress. It can even mean that the Dominatrix herself does not directly touch the client. In practice, however, being untouchable usually means that the Dominatrix does not engage in sexual interaction, kissing, or cuddling with the client. However, it does not exclude practices such as foot fetish, massages, restraint, or even stroking or spanking by hand
Otherwise, Dominatrices can incorporate all imaginable kinks into their program. Depending on preference and talent, many specialize in certain areas such as medical play, role play, latex, and many more. Particularly popular are also foot fetish, watersports, facesitting, humiliation, pegging, spanking, and other forms of erotic torture. Sessions can take place classically in an SM studio, in a (hourly) hotel, or brothel. Home visits or outdoor games are also possible. The duration of the appointments can vary and depends on the preferences of the Dominatrix and the client. Everything is possible, from a few hours to the complete integration of the submissive(s) into the daily life of the mistress or master.
What does a visit like this involve?
Certainly every mistress handles the course of a session very differently. However, there is always a preliminary discussion or at least a written exchange before the meeting. It is discussed what the Dominatrix will do, what her limits are and of course the limits of the sub. Consent is also the top priority in a relationship with a Dominatrix. In addition, the fee is agreed upon and a deposit or advance payment may also be made. The conversation also serves to get to know each other and build trust.
A session usually begins with the customer being sent to shower. Because hygiene is essential for all types of sex work. During the play there is a power imbalance between Dominatrix and slave. Even if there is no personal relationship between the two and a Dominatrix does not necessarily have an emotional bond with her customers, she always acts according to a consent system like SSC. Security systems and safe words exist here just like in BDSM between partners.
After the session, a professional Dominatrix brings their client back to reality. Aftercare in the form of gentle physical contact may be missed. However, tending to any wounds, taking another shower, and having a conversation over a drink together are common practices for many professionals. Of course, it always depends on the situation, intensity, and circumstances of the play.
