CATEGORY: BOTTOM
Sub is short for Submissive
The term pair Dom and Sub is probably one of the most common ones encountered in BDSM and, thanks to a more or less popular bestseller, it enjoys a certain attractiveness even outside the BDSM world. In fact, the two roles are very common in the scene, as they mainly describe a character attitude and therefore offer a lot of scope for development.
The term Sub is gender-neutral and short for submissive. Unlike Bottom, the term does not describe the general status of a player but emphasizes the character of submissiveness. The range can extend from purely psychological dominance, which a Sub might want to submit to, to very physically oriented submission involving punishments. Being a Sub is primarily a mindset and, thus, a very complex and highly individual role.
Which roles are similar to a Sub?
Sub is closely related to the roles of Bottom and Serf, although not identical. Physically-oriented Subs are very similar to Masochists or Spankees. Subs with a penchant for degradation can be Degradees, Sissies, Cuckolds and Cuckqueans. Subs who enjoy challenging dominant personalities are called Brats. And Subs with a childlike inclination and the need to be protected and cared for feel very comfortable as Littles, Babygirls, or Babyboys.
Who matches with a Sub?
Of course, a Dom. However, since the play styles can vary greatly, Masters or Mistresses, Sadists, Disciplinarians, Degraders, Spankers, and Cuckoldresses can offer interesting dynamics. Subs with a childlike inclination also harmonize well with protective, loving roles such as a Daddy, Mommy, or Caregiver.
How do I know if i am a Sub?
The role primarily emphasizes the psychological or character component. This means that if you feel the desire to mentally give yourself to someone, to trustingly give up some control and to serve intrinsically, then you are probably a sub. The attitude counts!
How much authority or control you are willing to give up and for how long, whether 24/7 or just during a session, is entirely up to you. Subs are not necessarily submissive in every situation and typically know exactly what they want. Even though it is commonly believed, there is no such thing as real or fake Subs. A person’s everyday demeanor has nothing to do with their BDSM personality. Conversely, just because someone might be shy and obedient in normal life does not necessarily mean they are submissive in a sexual context.
As a Sub, it’s important that…
…you clearly communicate your desires, needs, and limits to your Top, detailing precisely what you expect from a session, what you do not, how long it should last, and which practices you wish to engage in. It’s essential to be clear with yourself about your own desires. Equally important is respecting your partner’s desires to find common ground where everyone can benefit to the maximum extent.
It is often said that Subs are actually the dominant parts, as they define the scope of behavior and the boundaries. Therefore, Subs have an equally high level of responsibility, which is carried primarily through clear and concise communication. And also about being able to say no. This starts when someone treats you disrespectfully, tries to tell you what a real sub should be like, or even thinks that your role has the right to be intrusive. Hands off.
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