Dirty talk or: The mystery of porn language
Let’s be honest, for most people, the term “dirty talk” is associated with men with prominent chest hair and mustaches. In particular, the porn industry has adopted a language that often sends a shiver down your spine. Just not the good kind. Or maybe you’re into it. Rough can be good, as we follow YKINMKBYKIO. But dirty talk can be very diverse and offers the right level for everyone.
I discovered my personal preference for it quite early, as few things have turned me on as much as a whispered “Please.” In a certain sense, dirty talk can start with the chosen title. When someone looks at me kneeling with that particular expression and says, “Yes, Mistress,” it turns me on just as much as a loud moan. With language, it’s all about intention, tone, and expression. Even the dullest words can create tension.
Playing without speaking doesn’t work for me. I want to communicate, tease, provoke, and express what I see and demand. My idea of interaction often happens with words. I want to say what I like and hear when it’s enjoyed. Asking, begging, and comfort are what I want to hear. Language is one of the tools that stimulates me the most and easiest – literally. A small disclaimer: Our website is subject to age protection, so my examples will remain quite harmless. They serve as inspiration, not a script.
A bit of literature, a whole lot of erotica: Dirty talk ideas for beginners.
When I’m asked how to get started with all of this, I describe a sexy version of “I spy with my little eye.” Whether active or passive: right in front of you, there are one or more people who turn you on and are turned on. Saying that out loud is one of the most natural beginnings. Kissing someone and saying, “Your mouth feels good on mine,” “I’d love to feel your lips more,” “You feel good,” or “I enjoy your body.” These are things that don’t involve obscenities or blunt commands.
It can continue by extending the conversation a bit further: “You’re so hard/wet/aroused,” “How quickly you get out of breath when you surrender,” “I can smell your arousal,” “You look so beautiful in your desire.” The possibilities are wide open here. One doesn’t have to take a situation to the extreme, but can often say things just as they are. “I sleep so much better when I feel your chastity belt on my ass.”
“The sound of your ass slapping against me when I fuck you”, ‘Your face is so hot when I touch you like this’, ‘I like the way you press against me and want even more’. Freely adapted from realist author Theodor Fontane, a person’s skin, hair, smell, sound, facial expressions and gestures can all be described. You just have to look carefully and sometimes that’s enough to give you a kick: “I can’t stop looking at you when you’re like that”. “Maybe more people should get to see you like this without restraint.” Or: “The sight of you only makes me hotter.
“Lets just add a little bit of spice”
From the simple description, the transition to degradation is not far. Because with just one sentence, a simple observation turns into a small provocation: “I can see how much fun you’re having, you’re acting like a real slut.” “You can’t get enough today, you’re truly insatiable.” “Every time you’re this greedy, I know you’re good for nothing but doing exactly that.” “Your face is already so red, it begs to be used.” Here, the possibilities range from gentle to harsh, limited only by your own sense of shame.
Of course, there are also people who enjoy hearing: “Try a little harder.” “The only thing you’re good for is XY,” or “I’ll just use you as my personal sex doll.” Even “You lowly worm are here just to lick my boots” or “You’re here only to give me pleasure” are popular. While these phrases can sound toxic, they are absolutely fine in a consensual session, and there are even more drastic things that can be said.
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want…
“I want you to come for me.”
For many, this sentence carries incredible power. It’s a clear sign of the other person’s greed and desire, a demand that triggers a tingling sensation. In some ways, the permission to orgasm itself is a form of orgasm control. For others, it’s simply the desire to fulfill this command. As a Brat, however, you might not want to do that at all. While all nuances of dirty talk are wonderful, this one ties into what defines BDSM: power dynamics.
The imperative, in itself, is not typically considered dirty talk. However, commanding a Sub within a scene can quickly turn into it. This form can also be a great way to start a scene: “I want you to wait for me naked and kneeling, imagining the things I’ll do to you.” This can trigger a wonderful thought spiral, where the interplay between reward and punishment unfolds. “You better put extra effort into polishing my boots, or I’ll never let you out of the cage again.”
With this approach, you can also lead into a session where the Bottom needs support. “I want you to prepare the spanking tools you want to feel today. I’ll decide the order and how often. Don’t think you’re going to get out of this easily. If you pick too gently, I’ll choose the worst. You’ll endure this punishment for me.” Or: “Today, you’ll get what you deserve. You’ll stand there and endure as much as you can. You’ll breathe through the pain and come out stronger after.”
As a bottom, this concept can work just as well: “I want to feel your hand around my neck.” “Today, I want to be pushed to my limits by you.” “Please punish me now.” “Would you please hurt me?” It’s less about topping from the bottom and more about providing stimulation and confirmation within the session. A charming request that can also be declined.
“I want you to take me how you want, do whatever you want, and use me however you need.”
Dirty talk and fantasy
“Imagine if others could see you right now. Your face wet and greedy, begging for more.” “If we keep going like this, you’ll need more and more. You’ll turn into an even bigger slut, and we’ll need more and more until you’re satisfied.” “Next time, we’ll put you in a latex suit and turn you into a perfect doll.”
Some fantasies can only be realized with a lot of effort. However, they can certainly be elaborately described and told. Possibilities and ideas can be expressed. Especially when combined with other elements like bondage or sensory deprivation, sessions can become even more erotic and exaggerated.
“You’re completely immobilized and bound. Next time, I’ll present you like this at a party and let everyone use your face as their footstool.” This can open up a whole new level if the person enjoys this form of exhibitionism and you initiate the play. It’s less about whispering erotic stories into someone’s ear and more about expanding your own active session.
Dirty talk ideas? The possibilities are endless
Language is diverse, personal, and almost limitless. You can create anything with your words, depending on how you use them. Dirty talk can happen in small or large steps. Starting from “Oh fuck” to long stories that can be told. The important thing is to find your own pace and preferences, and to also know those of your partners. Once again, the only thing that helps is talking! Communication is key.
