What is sadism?
Right next to the M for masochism, the S in the acronym BDSM stands for submission on the one hand and the term sadism on the other. The expression stands for experiencing satisfaction by hurting other people. In addition to inflicting physical pain, pleasure can also come from humiliation, suppression and causing fear.
The German psychiatrist and forensic pathologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing used the term “sadism” for the first time in 1866. He named it after the Donatien Alphonse François Marquis de Sade, in whose pornographic works violent fantasies also played a role.
The term “masochism,” closely related to “sadism,” is named after the writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836–1895). This term describes the opposite of sadism—sexual pleasure derived from receiving pain. Because sadism and masochism are closely linked in the BDSM community, the combined term “sadomasochism” was coined. This term generally encompasses all sexual practices that deviate from socially accepted norms and involve the combination of pleasure and pain.
It is not in pleasure that happiness consists, it is in desire – it is in breaking the chains that hold back this desire.
Marquis de Sade
For a long time, sadomasochistic preferences, even when they were consensual, were classified as mental disorders, a perversion. This only changed with the publication of the fifth edition of the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (2013). In this new revised version of the world’s leading guide to psychiatric assessment, sadomasochism has been removed as a paraphilia.
In general usage, the term sadist is not only used in a sexual sense. People who derive joy from the suffering of others are also called this way.
How does sadism develop?
There are numerous theories about the origins of sadistic tendencies. A popular psychoanalytic approach, for instance, involves an unresolved Oedipus complex. Psychoanalyst Nikolaus Becker and psychiatrist Eberhart Schorsch view sadism as a result of a disturbed personality development, as discussed in their work “Angst, Lust, Zerstörung: Sadismus als soziales und kriminelles Handeln” (1977).
Another approach is the idea of compensating for unpleasant events by sexualizing them, as suggested by Robert Stoller. According to this perspective, sex is something positive in contrast to pain. Therefore, one might turn a necessity into a virtue, associating negative experiences with something pleasurable.
However, these and many other psychoanalytic models cannot be scientifically verified. There is also a lot of criticism about this, because not every sadist has a developmental disorder. There are sadists with happy childhoods. Those who discover their inclinations completely intrinsically, without negative preconceptions.
Another approach is Pavlovian conditioning. It is assumed that sexual arousal can be developed through suffering. For example, through recurring sadistic fantasies while masturbating. The conditioning is then reinforced through repetition. However, this theory presupposes a certain spontaneous key experience and is therefore criticized.
Science has certainly not yet come to a concrete conclusion in this area. The fact is: Almost everyone has fantasies of sexual violence. That’s not a cause for concern.
Different types
Non-sexual or psychological sadism
Although this manifestation usually has a sexual origin, this type of sadism is not expressed sexually. Rather, other, primarily subordinate people, are harassed. The psychological sadist tortures and humiliates others, but not within his sexual behavior. According to the psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, this is primarily about exercising fantasies of omnipotence. The need to have power over another being has no practical goal. It’s all about violent domination.
Conjunctive or sexual sadism
This is about the need to cause pain to someone during sexual intercourse. Sexual excitement and increased pleasure arise from the oppression and physical or psychological humiliation of the other person. Sadistic acts often represent foreplay or are practiced during sex.
Compensatory sadism
In this form of sadism, inflicting physical or physical pain replaces sexual intercourse. The sadistic preferences are no longer part of sexual satisfaction or intensify pleasure, but replace the act.
Living out sadism in BDSM
Pleasure and suffering – for many people they don’t go together. But not for everyone. Like almost every sexual difference, sadism can be lived out in BDSM. This tendency is particularly common among dominant people. In interaction with a masochistic partner, both can get their money’s worth.
There are various practices in which one can live out sadistic preferences. Impact play, breath play and spanking are just a few examples.
What should one pay attention to?
Before engaging in sadistic actions with another person, several things should be considered. Within a BDSM session, it’s essential to ensure not only the consent of the other person but also that the situation meets all SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) requirements. It should be clearly agreed upon which sadistic practices both parties desire and where the limits are. An amber/red light system can be helpful, along with the use of a safeword.
A responsible sadist is knowledgeable not only about the utensils they use but also about the human body. They understand where and when pain can lead to injuries or even be life-threatening. Consensual sadism within BDSM must always be controlled and conducted safely. This is the crucial difference from violence and cruelty.
“Hit me,” said the masochist. “No,” said the sadist.
Unknown
The ideal counterpart for a sadist is a masochist. But other submissive roles can also enjoy certain sadistic acts, such as humiliation. On the other hand, be careful: not everyone at the Bottom is masochistic! And: Not every Masochist enjoys the same kind of pain. Therefore, as described above, good communication is the be-all and end-all here.
In addition, extensive aftercare is essential after sadistic practices. Not just for the person who received torment. Aftercare is also important for the sadist himself or herself in order to find their way back to reality. Often, tormenting another person is accompanied by subsequent remorse and remorse; the famous Dom Drop could be a result. Aftercare scenarios ensure that both sides feel supported after a session.
The dark side of sadism
Although sadism is fundamentally neither a mental disorder nor an illness, this tendency can unfortunately get out of control, turn into aggression and/or lead to serious (sexual) crimes. In the worst cases there is even a risk to life and limb. If a person can no longer control sadism and the desires become too extreme to live out consensually, this is called paraphilia. The German author and criminal psychologist Lydia Benecke is an expert in this field, who provides scientific texts and other information from psychology on the subject of sadism online and offline.
Anyone who suspects that his or her sadistic tendencies are crossing the line or is concerned about putting others in danger should and should get help. The SMJG worry line or the helpline for sexual abuse are good first points of contact and even offer prevention advice for perpetrators.
