What is sadism?
Right next to the M for masochism, the S in the acronym BDSM stands for submission on the one hand and the term sadism on the other. The expression stands for experiencing satisfaction by hurting other people. In addition to inflicting physical pain, pleasure can also come from humiliation, suppression and causing fear.
The German psychiatrist and forensic pathologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing used the term “sadism” for the first time in 1866. He named it after the Donatien Alphonse François Marquis de Sade, in whose pornographic works violent fantasies also played a role.
Closely related is the term masochism, named after the writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836–1895). This term describes the opposite, i.e. the sexual desire to receive pain. Since sadism and masochism are closely linked in the BDSM area, the term “sadomasochism” was coined. In general usage, this includes all sexual practices that deviate from the socially accepted norm and are associated with a combination of pleasure and pain.
It is not in pleasure that happiness consists, it is in desire – it is in breaking the chains that hold back this desire.
Marquis de Sade
For a long time, sadomasochistic preferences, even when they were consensual, were classified as mental disorders, a perversion. This only changed with the publication of the fifth edition of the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (2013). In this new revised version of the world’s leading guide to psychiatric assessment, sadomasochism has been removed as a paraphilia.
In general usage, the term sadist is not only used in a sexual sense. People who derive joy from the suffering of others are also called this way.
How does sadism develop?
There are a number of theories about the search for the origin of sadistic tendencies. A popular psychoanalytic approach, for example, is an unrealized Oedipus conflict. The psychoanalyst Nikolaus Becker and psychiatrist Eberhart Schorsch see sadism as the result of disturbed personality development (“Fear, Lust, Destruction: Sadism as social and criminal action.” 1977).
Another approach would be to compensate for unpleasant events by sexualizing them (Robert Stoller). Sex is something positive compared to pain. In this way, you turn necessity into a virtue and from now on attach something beautiful to negative experiences.
However, these and many other psychoanalytic models cannot be scientifically verified. There is also a lot of criticism about this, because not every sadist has a developmental disorder. There are sadists with happy childhoods. Those who discover their inclinations completely intrinsically, without negative preconceptions.
Another approach is Pavlovian conditioning. It is assumed that sexual arousal can be developed through suffering. For example, through recurring sadistic fantasies while masturbating. The conditioning is then reinforced through repetition. However, this theory presupposes a certain spontaneous key experience and is therefore criticized.
Science has certainly not yet come to a concrete conclusion in this area. The fact is: Almost everyone has fantasies of sexual violence. That’s not a cause for concern.
Different types
Non-sexual or psychological sadism
Although this manifestation usually has a sexual origin, this type of sadism is not expressed sexually. Rather, other, primarily subordinate people, are harassed. The psychological sadist tortures and humiliates others, but not within his sexual behavior. According to the psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, this is primarily about exercising fantasies of omnipotence. The need to have power over another being has no practical goal. It’s all about violent domination.
Conjunctive or sexual sadism
This is about the need to cause pain to someone during sexual intercourse. Sexual excitement and increased pleasure arise from the oppression and physical or psychological humiliation of the other person. Sadistic acts often represent foreplay or are practiced during sex.
Compensatory sadism
In this form of sadism, inflicting physical or physical pain replaces sexual intercourse. The sadistic preferences are no longer part of sexual satisfaction or intensify pleasure, but replace the act.
Living out sadism in BDSM
Pleasure and suffering – for many people they don’t go together. But not for everyone. Like almost every sexual difference, sadism can be lived out in BDSM. This tendency is particularly common among dominant people. In interaction with a masochistic partner, both can get their money’s worth.
There are various practices in which one can live out sadistic preferences. Impact play, breath play and spanking are just a few examples.
What do you have to pay attention to?
Before carrying out sadistic acts on another person, there are a few things you should consider. Of course, within a BDSM scene we don’t just assume the consent of the other person. But also that the situation meets all SSC requirements. There should be a clear agreement about what sadistic practices both want and what the limits are. A traffic light system and definitely a safe word help here.
A responsible sadist is not only familiar with the utensils that are used. He or she also has some knowledge of the human body. Where and when does pain lead to injuries or can even become life-threatening? Consensual sadism in BDSM must always take place in a controlled and safe manner. Because here lies the crucial difference to violence and cruelty.
“Hit me,” said the masochist. “No,” said the sadist.
Unknown
The ideal counterpart for a sadist is a masochist. But other submissive roles can also enjoy certain sadistic acts, such as humiliation. On the other hand, be careful: not everyone at the bottom is masochistic! And: Not every masochist enjoys the same kind of pain. Therefore, as described above, good communication is the be-all and end-all here.
In addition, extensive aftercare is essential after sadistic practices. Not just for the person who received torment. Aftercare is also important for the sadist himself or herself in order to find their way back to reality. Often, tormenting another person is accompanied by subsequent remorse and remorse; the famous Dom Drop could be a result. Aftercare scenarios ensure that both sides feel supported after a session.
The dark side of sadism
Although sadism is fundamentally neither a mental disorder nor an illness, this tendency can unfortunately get out of control, turn into aggression and/or lead to serious (sexual) crimes. In the worst cases there is even a risk to life and limb. If a person can no longer control sadism and the desires become too extreme to live out consensually, this is called paraphilia. The author and criminal psychologist Lydia Benecke is an expert in this field, who provides scientific texts and other information from psychology on the subject of sadism online and offline.
Anyone who suspects that his or her sadistic tendencies are crossing the line or is concerned about putting others in danger should and should get help. The SMJG worry line or the helpline for sexual abuse are good first points of contact and even offer prevention advice for perpetrators.
