Content/trigger warning: rape
Disclaimer: The aim of this article is to explain the term “rape play” in a BDSM context. It is a form of play that can cross boundaries or trigger trauma in some people. Therefore, we do not want to give explicit instructions for this practice here.
What is rape play?
As the name indicates, in rape play, this is staged by mutual consent as BDSM role play. The submissive part is usually physically overpowered by the dominant part. The Bottom can also be at the mercy of the Top through fixation. Not infrequently, vehement resistance, cries for help and screams are also part of the practice. Despite an agreed consent, unwillingness is expressed. For example, “Stop it!” or “I don’t want this.”
As brutal as it sounds, there is a so-called meta-consent or consensual non-consent between the participants in rape play in the BDSM context. This is a consent to non-consensual practices or sexual intercourse.
Why is it appealing to some?
In rape play, the power dynamic is overwhelming. Often supported by a certain surprise effect through an unexpected initiation. On the submissive side, it is about the feeling of being helpless and the loss of control. To a certain extent, this is heightened by obvious fear and apparent non-consent. Subs enjoy powerlessness, lack of will and the idea of transgressing boundaries during rape play. Humiliation also plays a part. Bottom stages a victim who is ultimately defenceless despite resistance.
It can be exciting for the dominant person to get and keep his or her counterpart under control. The physical confrontation can trigger the release of the stress hormone adrenaline on both sides, which heightens our senses and can therefore intensify the experience.
In addition, rape play involves acting out something that is absolutely taboo and forbidden. This in particular has a special appeal for some people. Sexual fantasies of violence are not abnormal and not something bad per se, as long as they remain fantasies and are not acted out on other people against their will. In rape play, they are acted out in a consensual, safe setting.
What needs to be considered?
Rape play often remains a secret fantasy. Many people condemn themselves for these tendencies. This is not the only reason why it is difficult to talk about it with your partner. But communication is the key: although the rape fantasy thrives on the idea that there are no boundaries and agreements, in reality these are essential.
In addition, the following must be considered:
- Rape play requires a lot of trust and knowledge towards each other. Only practice it when you know each other well and are able to assess each other.
- Although it sometimes involves physical confrontation, brutality has no place here.
- Never forget to respect each other. Before, during and after the game.
- Rape play often involves penetration. Although this is done forcefully, care should be taken here too to avoid causing injury.
Establish a safeword and use it in borderline cases.
Places special emphasis on aftercare.
No rape play in public, not even at SM/fetish parties. Outsiders, uninitiated persons could misunderstand your play, be triggered and/or even suffer psychological damage.
- If you talk to others about your fantasies or experiences, give a trigger warning beforehand. Sexualized violence is a sensitive topic. Please don’t attack anyone with it.
