Disclaimer: Haftungsausschluss: Before we present you with some ideas, we want to clearly distinguish pleasure from pain in the context of masturbation from self-harming, destructive behavior. This article is about how you can safely explore your masochistic side during solo sex.
Actually, it’s clear: BDSM can only work with at least two people. Right? Do I have to completely forego my kinky side if I don’t currently have, want, or find a partner? Of course, the allure of painful or restraining practices is much greater when another person is involved in setting them. Because in BDSM, it’s often about “being made to do something.” When you’re alone, the psychological aspect is missing. A power dynamic doesn’t occur during masturbation, no matter how many kinky components you incorporate. Therefore, you won’t be able to practice classic BDSM alone. Nevertheless, there are solo variations that can be enjoyable.
Meditative sensory deprivation and the right attitude
Mind over muscles! The main work in masturbation takes place in the mind. Without your imagination, solo practice will be difficult to bring you pleasure. Therefore, let your thoughts drift to where it excites you. Imagine scenarios and paint pictures in your head. Of course, you can also help yourself with pictures and videos. But it can also be an exciting change to lend a hand with your eyes closed or blindfolded. Or with headphones that block out your surrounding noise. Some people get in the mood with music, others get going in the bathtub. Sensory deprivation can make you more focused, on yourself and your thoughts and desires. You know best what you need to let yourself go. A little tip: Locking the door and turning your cell phone to silent have never hurt a solo number.
Pinch yourself!
Probably the easiest way to create pleasure during masturbation is with clamps. Using it on yourself is simple and safe. Without having to constantly and laboriously readjust, the pain intensifies the longer you wear it. Solo sex is also a great way to find out what type of clamps you like most and where you like to feel them most. Weights also leave plenty of room for gadgets that don’t require a second or third hand. Speaking of hands: Once the clamps are on, you have them completely free. Perfect!
Wax it up!
Admittedly, the element of surprise is missing when you drip hot wax on yourself. But some aspects of wax play can still be exciting during masturbation. The heat, the sensation of pain on the skin, the hardening of the cooled wax. It can be thrilling and erotic to apply layer after layer of hot wax on your own skin. Candles create an atmospheric ambiance for us. For skin application, there are also oil candles that are nourishing and fragrant. This way, you can do something good for yourself not just on a sexual level. However, always keep a container of water nearby, just to be safe.
The bond with yourself – bondage and self-bondage
Self-bondage is a topic in itself and often disconnected from sexual masturbation. However, ropes can still be part of solo sex. It’s not about intricately tying yourself up. After all, you need at least one hand free in the end. But for many bondage enthusiasts and Rope Bunnies, the rope itself can be erotic. The texture, the material on the skin. It can be enough to tie a simple Column Tie around your ankle or wrist and guide the rest of the rope along your body. You don’t even need to know many knots for this. Also, tying part of your body securely and feeling more helpless or even suspending yourself to fly can be part of your self-bondage experience.
But be careful: be careful when you are alone. Be sure to have a pair of scissors handy. Don’t wrap or knot too tightly. Don’t try to restrain or immobilize yourself. Think of it more as a stimulating dance with the rope around your body and not as the most impressive work of bondage art possible.
Test yourself – anal training during masturbation
Using a plug or dildo anally while doing it yourself is old hat. But maybe you’ve never tried it on and would like to find out what types of anal play excite you? Masturbation is the ideal opportunity to find out whether and with what you can be stimulated anally. Without any pressure, shame or spectators. Because while you’re alone and aroused, you should find it easier to relax your sphincter. Be sure to use lubricant and be gentle at first. New toys are also great to try out on your own. If you are already an advanced user, you can train and stretch your anus during solo sex. This way you will be better prepared for future games with other people.
Electric masturbation
Toys that stimulate with electricity often have a remote control and are therefore very suitable for masturbation. Many products allow you to stimulate the body without touching yourself. A safe variant are vibrating eggs and other remote-controlled vibrators. But toys that produce mild to moderate electric shocks are also suitable for solo sex. Here, too, the effect that pain comes unexpectedly is unfortunately no longer present. In addition, only sex toys should be used here, never open electricity or your own creations! After all, you don’t want to gamble with your life.
Pretty spicy: figging
Another stimulating way to play with yourself is figging. This technique involves carving a piece of ginger into the shape of a small plug and inserting it vaginally or rectally. The essential oils provide a slightly burning sensation, but without causing any damage. Or you can use special ginger sprays like those from Naturally Naughty and apply it to the vulva lips, glans, tongue or toys. This is the best way to find out whether you like a slight burning sensation on your skin and mucous membranes and to what intensity. Naturally Naughty’s products are quality of life and were developed together with pharmacists and BDSM experts.
Foto: Naturally Naughty
Chastity – Self-imposed discipline
For many, the appeal of chastity is that another person decides whether sex or masturbation takes place. If you keep yourself chaste, for example by setting a target number of days or weeks, you keep yourself in control. But it’s not just the exchange of power that makes chastity attractive: imposing a certain discipline on yourself and achieving a set goal creates feelings of happiness. We know this from sports. Additionally, an orgasm may be more intense after a chaste period. Another variant: Leave it to chance whether you are allowed to come. Set a number and roll the dice every day. Or, as a form of tease and denial, let the dice decide how long you can touch yourself. Satisfy yourself while a song plays, don’t cum until it ends. Ban yourself from masturbation when it’s not raining. Or until your boss wears jeans. Or if the bus is late. If we allow ourselves to come only after a certain time or as a result of a certain event, this activates our reward system. Certainly not as intense as when another person is involved, but the effect is still there.
….and what about aftercare?
When playing with yourself, you should never push your limits so much that aftercare is indispensable. Kinky masturbation is rarely as intense as a game with a power dynamic and external influences. Nevertheless, you should at least treat yourself to some physical aftercare. So take care of any areas of skin that you have stressed, rest and maybe drink something. Maybe you also think about your feelings while cleaning your toys, for example. In any case, you should enjoy the wonderful feeling of having treated yourself to something. All alone!
