What is a punishment book?
Viewed as an object, a punishment book is a completely normal notebook. What is important is the meaning given to the pages by the BDSM context: within a relationship with a power dynamic, it can be used to keep a record of “misbehavior” and rule violations by a submissive person.
What do you use a punishment book for?
Punishment books can be used in the context of discipline, educational games, D/s and 24/7 relationships, especially FLR and actually any relationship constellation with a psychologically influenced power dynamic.
It is primarily used to record miconduct for which an immediate punishment cannot be administered. Often, the penalty for specific misbehavior is determined before the bookkeeping, which is then noted alongside. The punishment book can be maintained by both parties, but usually, the submissive partner records their violations of agreements themselves.
These agreements can be diverse. Perhaps the Sub was cheeky, insolent, or did not adhere to the correct address of the dominant person. Sub was late, ate too much, or did not give precedence to the dominant part when entering a room. Whatever was individually agreed upon.
The offenses are recorded in the punishment book so that they can be compensated for later – for example at the next meeting – and therefore punished. In a long-distance relationship, a punishment book can be a great instrument to establish and maintain the power dynamic in everyday life, even over distance.
What do I need to consider when using it?
For some, it may seem ridiculous, but it can be quite appealing in a BDSM relationship to keep such a punishment book. Trying it out doesn’t hurt. However, always be aware of the limits of your play. A punishment book should never be used as a tool to pressure someone into punishing behavior or to achieve things that are outside of your agreed power dynamic.
What should I consider when buying?
Nothing. Just buy a notebook that suits you. Some people like to buy a particularly high-quality booklet, perhaps even with a lock, to underline the high importance of the punishment book. Others prefer boring magazines for reasons of inconspicuousness. Calendars are particularly suitable. Not only the day of the offense can be recorded in these. He can also remind you which punishment is due on which day.
Parts of this text were first published on Baumwollseil.de, one of Germany’s first online shops for kink, eroticism, and BDSM, and were kindly provided to Deviance.
