There are many prejudices about dating platforms: The most common is, that online search for a partner is only superficial, as the decision, wether further contact will be initiated, is only based on pictures in a dating profile. However, if you take a closer look, dating platforms offer the opportunity to reveal much more of your own personality than in real life.
Because even offline, the very first impression, the appearance, determines whether we want contact or not. Only that this first impression is enriched by other factors such as voice, facial expressions, body language, and perhaps also smell. Basically, these are also factors that serve to further assess physical attractiveness. After all, who tells you in the first few small talk sentences what values are important to you, what dreams and goals you pursue in life and how you spend your time when you are really alone.
Your dating profile offers exactly this opportunity. Since the other external factors mentioned above are eliminated in the online world, it is worth putting a little time and effort into setting up a dating profile and using this to arouse real interest.
Here are our tips:
The name in the dating profile: personality instead of kinks
With portals like Deviance, you don’t have to use your nickname to indicate that you’re kinky, into BDSM or have a specific fetish. That’s why everyone is there after all. In addition, since your roles are prominently displayed in the profile, there is no need to specifically indicate that you are a dom, sub or something else in the form of a part of your name.
Rather, choose a nice adjective that describes your character and combine it with a name that you like to be addressed with or choose a name that suggests a hobby of yours, such as bookworm. Avoid using vulgar terms like slut, which are better used in private.
Pictures in the profile – still important
One picture is not enough. Mix it up!
In the long term, appearance takes a back seat. But when getting to know someone, the visual impression is still crucial for establishing contact at all. Offline and online. So upload at least two different photos in which you can be easily recognized. Profiles with just one picture usually arouse suspicion and give the viewer’s brain too little information, for example what your facial expressions might look like.
Show what makes you special
You can also show what your life looks like in several pictures. Do you like cooking? Then let yourself be photographed preparing your favorite dish. Do you like latex? The perfect opportunity to dress up again. Photos that show you with objects that are meaningful to you, such as a collar, also pique the interest of the person you are talking to. The same goes for places you like to go, like your favorite coffee shop.
The pictures should be likeable and serious and show you as you really are. Always think about what impression you want to convey. Blurry party photos and group photos don’t allow you to be clearly identified at first glance; the stiff, standardized application photo doesn’t show enough of what makes you special.
Pay attention to poses and cutouts
Selfies are okay as long as they are used sparingly. If your profile only consists of selfies, it gives the impression that you don’t have any social contacts who take photos of you every now and then. Two are therefore enough. When taking a selfie, make sure to get a natural angle (not from below) and photograph yourself in daylight.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t go down well at all when images are used from which other people were obviously cut out. This gives the impression that you have something to hide. Was there an ex-partner on it? And: nobody really likes showing off. Showing yourself in front of an expensive car or with a celebrity you once met tends to give the impression that you have nothing to offer yourself.
Those who cheat in their dating profiles can only lose.
Last but not least, you should definitely not cheat with the pictures. A favorable filter is ok, a six-pack or a wasp waist conjured up in Photoshop is not, and too much soft focus looks unnatural. Such cheating quickly comes to light and betrays the trust of your counterpart. In addition, the person looking at it should ultimately like you just the way you are. And that only works if you like yourself too.
The text: basis for further discussions
A text is an absolute must. The profile text gives you the opportunity to supplement the information you convey through your pictures and reveal something about your personality. This gives your match points to start a conversation with. Unfortunately, the pictures alone are not enough to arouse interest. The request “if you have any questions, just ask” only makes sense if there is already something in your dating profile.
Be transparent from the start
Communicate clearly what you are looking for and what you expect so that there are no unpleasant surprises during the further process of getting to know each other. The person you’re talking to will notice relatively quickly what you’re really after if you pretend.
No phrases in the dating profile
You can also use the text section to convey your values and – depending on the platform – what you are into. Just refrain from using overly vulgar expressions. Also avoid phrases like “You can steal horses with me” or “I’m up for fun with anyone.” After all, you want to stand out from the other profiles. If you claim to be experienced, back it up with a year or partners to be more credible. If you’re new, tell us how you discovered your kinky side.
A good expression shows style
Also pay attention to spelling and expression. After all, your counterpart should have the feeling that you are making an effort. And that starts with your profile text. According to surveys, around 80 percent of online dating users value correct spelling and stylish expression. So these few extra minutes should be invested.
If you are not a professional or have a weakness in spelling, you should have your profile proofread by a friend or copy the text into a word processing program to check for errors. An additional effort, but it can be crucial.
Brevity is the soul of wit
And last but not least: pay attention to the length. Dating platforms are mostly used where users do not pay full attention to them. For example in the subway or in front of the television. In this day and age, when our attention spans are becoming ever shorter, an excessively long text is rather off-putting for most people. Four to five short and concise sentences show that you can get to the point.
Don’t be afraid of being exposed with your dating profile
Many people are still uncomfortable with the idea of uploading pictures to kinky platforms. The risk of being discovered by someone is too great. But let’s be honest: If a work colleague or an acquaintance discovers you, that person will initially have exactly the same thoughts. The likelihood that she will out you is very low, because then she would have to identify herself as a kinkster.
The likelihood that the person will ask you about your BDSM or fetish tendencies next time is also very low. She will rather hope that you haven’t discovered her yet. And if you do, then you can be happy that you have found something else in common. In any case, it is always worth uploading photos, as profiles with pictures are much more trustworthy and successful. And who knows, maybe even this person will be the perfect play partner for you.
