Content/trigger warning: term “slave”
What is Financial Domination?
Financial Domination is the term for a BDSM-related game involving control over another person’s finances. It is a consensual agreement between two or more individuals, aiming to derive pleasure purely from the transaction.
What may seem like a purely material act at first glance can develop into a tension-filled game for those involved, where power, control, and the interplay of dominance and submission play a central role. Financial Domination can take many forms ranging from the transfer of small amounts to larger financial obligations that create a sense of dependence or devotion.
To better understand the dynamic between the individuals, terms like Findom and Finsub have been coined. Other common titles include Moneylady, and Moneydom for the controlling side, and Moneyslave or Moneypig for the submissive side. A more extreme form of Financial Domination is blackmailing, involving extortion games with money.
Financial Domination can involve paying for time, actions, desires, or even the amusement of the Top. The spending of money can serve as punishment or reward, depending on preferences. It can occur in a romantic or play relationship, or even with sex workers. In the case of sex workers and clients, this is a business arrangement negotiated in a service contract, outlining the scope and intensity of the play. As it is a service relationship, this contract is generally binding.
How can Financial Domination look like in BDSM?
In practice, Financial Domination can take various forms. It is entirely possible to establish fixed agreements, such as weekly or monthly payments. Sometimes, Finsubs may want to pay for specific items, like shoes or other objects for which they have a fetish, or for activities that the Dom enjoys, such as going out with friends. Occasionally, it may just involve a one-time large payment.
In real-life play, Financial Domination can look like the Finsub accompanying the Findom in daily life, paying all bills. It’s also common for Finsubs to wait outside a restaurant or store, reducing the person to nothing more than a human payment method and experiencing a particular form of degradation. Other examples include:
- Paying for the time spent with the Top
- Paying for shared activities
- Sponsoring clothing, shoes, toys, or other items
- Paying for visits to the hairdresser, nail studio, waxing, restaurants, bars, parties
- Handing over the credit card for free use
- Using paid chats or messaging services
- Playing games or bets where money is lost, such as estimates, reaction games, etc.
- Introducing a penalty piggy bank for Sub‘s misbehavior
- Running errands, shopping, paying for car repairs
- Cam sessions where the Top is paid for time, camera, and audio
- Buying (used) clothing or everyday items
- Spending money in front of the Finsub, real or via screensharing
- Blackmailing
- Absolute control over how the Finsub spends their own money
Usually, transactions are tied to certain purposes. Sometimes, the act of giving money without knowing what it will be used for is the purpose itself, depending on the preference. No matter which variation excites the participants, it is essential to have the consent of all parties and to discuss fantasies and desires beforehand.
Why are people into Financial Domination?
The answer is quite simple: Money is power. In a commercial world, money allows us almost everything: housing, food, employment, and freedom. Money thus holds significant social value. From a young age, we are taught the meaning of money, what is expensive and what is cheap. Therefore, the play with money is a kink that occurs on a psychological level.
What do Finsubs get from it?
For subs into Financial Domination, the appeal comes from a combination of factors. On the one hand, gifts and the act of gifting bring happiness. For many, it’s simply about bringing joy to someone else. In this specific case, through money, buying items, or paying for activities. It can also serve as a way to feel humiliated, for example, by purchasing something worthless from the Top, who then buys something nice for themselves. It’s about personal devaluation in direct comparison to an amount of money. For others, it’s a form of escapism. Unlike in daily life, the money isn’t being demanded by anonymous companies or institutions, but by the chosen dominant person.
On the other hand, Financial Domination can present an enticing combination of fear and humiliation, tying the Finsub’s worth to their willingness to pay. However, caution is needed: It can become a dangerous game between the desire to be a Finsub and having to rationally manage one’s own money. If Financial Domination goes as far as surrendering control over one’s own account, it can lead to “Draining,” where the financial capacity is maximally exploited. Yet, for many, this existential fear is part of the appeal. The objectification into a human wallet is incredibly attractive and even sexually stimulating for many.
As with all BDSM, the desire to be dominated through money is very individual. This kink is most common among cis men on the submissive side. An example of this can be found in an Interview with Finsub Steve in the Independent magazine from 2017, where he explains his motivations and the development of online Findoms.
“Financial domination scoops up this notion of human beings and weaponizes it as something kinky. It’s intimacy, in a very capitalistic and masochistic way.”
What is the appeal for Findoms?
Although it may seem at first glance that it’s just about making money, the appeal for Findoms is just as multifaceted. Money, items, and services can certainly be luxury goods. However, they are appreciated differently when these things are given with deep devotion. Someone paying for shopping or a pedicure can be linked to another shared fetish.
The power that comes from controlling money vividly highlights one’s dominance. Depending on the extent, the Findom controls another person’s possibilities in life. Some Findoms even reduce the necessary expenditures of the submissive to a minimum, maximizing the game’s benefit for themselves. This influence can be intoxicating but also very seductive. In reality, there have been instances of abuse.
What must be carefully considered?
First and foremost, transparency is essential. A conversation to clarify limits and boundaries is indispensable. It’s also a good idea to write down the rules. As a Findom, you carry a significant responsibility to your play partner. This isn’t just about exploiting someone financially; the goal is to create a fulfilling and satisfying experience for both.
Safety Systems
In the realm of Financial Domination, the traffic light system can be a useful support to establish boundaries:
- The green zone is the money that is available. It’s the amount designated for the game. If this money is no longer available, there are no significant consequences.
- The yellow zone is slightly beyond the comfort zone. Here, the giver may need to forgo luxury goods to cover ongoing costs.
- The red zone is untouchable, essential money for living. Driving the submissive into financial ruin is enticing for many on both sides. However, this scenario should only be played out in fantasy.
It’s crucial to establish reasonable limits to avoid exceeding them, such as through time intervals and maximum amounts. Finsubs often experience a “high” and want to spend even more money. While this state is exciting and intense, the Findom or Top should pull the brakes if necessary to prevent harm. Furthermore, a Moneydom should be aware that this role can lead to legal issues. Since Financial Domination is difficult to distinguish from sex work, which must be registered, the money received technically needs to be taxed, even in private circumstances.
As a Finsub, it’s crucial to be cautious with personal data—PayPal addresses, credit card details, home addresses, or employer information. Blackmail attempts are not uncommon. Although blackmail can be a form of Financial Domination, newcomers should not be too trusting. One safety measure might be opening a separate account for the game. This way, one can experience the thrill of a near-zero balance without the risk of not being able to pay rent.
Above all, there must be deep trust between the Sub and the Dom. Even though the temptation of a “no return scenario” is great, and total dependency is an alluring fantasy, there should always be a way to ensure security and exit.
