CATEGORY: OTHER
What does it mean to be a Fetishist?
A Fetishist is a person who has one or more fetishes. A fetish is a form of sexuality in which a mostly inanimate object triggers arousal and satisfaction. This can relate to a single object, several objects, different materials, specific behavior or even body parts. For example, diapers, latex or feet serve as a fetish for some Fetishists.
However, a personal fetish is very individual, both in terms of its form and design. Sometimes the object of desire has to be worn by the person themselves, sometimes it has to be on another person. Either the Fetishist likes to do something with a body part, or he/she likes it when something is done with the body part. So it’s mainly about an object or material, less about a partner and their role.
Origin and meaning of the word fetish
Fetish is derived from the Latin term “facticius”, which roughly means “artificial”. In French, there is the word “fétiche”, which can be translated as “magic (means)”. This translation fits perfectly. For Fetishists, it is exciting to observe how sexual arousal builds up through a visual stimulus or the feel of an object.
There are also various therapeutic and colloquial uses of the term. Some of these differ greatly from one another. Colloquially, the term fetish is also often used when a kink is actually meant. The relevant difference, if you want to pay attention to the correct language, is that a kink is a preference. In other words, you like it when something is used. With a pronounced fetish, however, the pleasure object is absolutely necessary in order to be aroused at all.
In the context of sexual-medical diagnostics or psychoanalysis, sexual fetishism is seen as requiring treatment with reservations. This is the case when the fetish serves as a complete substitute for sexuality in a partnership. In order to be classified as an illness, the person must be suffering accordingly. Doctors then speak of a “personality and behavioral disorder of sexual preference” (ICD F65.0). The increasing social acceptance of normal sexual deviations means that those affected rarely require treatment. As a result, therapeutic help is rarely necessary.
Why does a fetish develop?
There are various theories about the causes of fetishes. In the case of the foot fetish, for example, there is the theory that there is a skip between neighboring areas in the brain. Whether sexual fetishism is a preference that can be equated with other preferences or a fundamental disorder of sexual behavior that requires treatment is a subject of constant debate. None of the speculations have yet been proven.
However, the whole thing becomes exciting when it comes to personal descriptions of Fetishists. You can find the perspective of Ms. Tagtraum, a self-confessed latex Fetishist, here at Deviance. An interview with diaper Fetishists you find here at Deviance, too.
How do I know if I’m a Fetishist?
It’s the attention to detail that drives you crazy. For example, you have a preference for authoritarian people. What kicks you is the aura of power. But one detail can make the whole thing even better: a uniform. But it might be a material like nylon that sends you into ecstasy. In that case, one look at your partner’s stockinged legs is enough to spark sexual desire. In addition to latex and nylon, materials can also include ordinary items of clothing such as jeans. The colloquial “reaction fetishist” needs the arousal of the other person to get in the mood. You are less aroused without the object of your affection than with it. Thought “Yes!” several times? Then you’re probably a fetishist.
Who matches with a Fetishist?
Unlike BDSM preferences, a fetish is not tied to a power imbalance. Therefore, people with the same passion are best suited to it: Diaper fetishists who play together, latex fetishists who admire each other in the shiny material together, foot fetishists who care for each other’s feet together, and so on. Regardless of whether they do this as submissive or dominant persons.
With some fetishes, however, the preference for the other person does not have to be so pronounced to give the Fetishist pleasure: A male high heel fetishist with a heterosexual inclination, for example, simply gets a kick out of his partner wearing high heels. If she in turn can enjoy exactly this reaction without having this fetish herself, it’s a wonderful combination.
But role-players also have a good chance of catering to fetishes of various kinds. Certain objects or materials can often be incorporated into the game. Kinksters are curious and diverse.
What do I have to consider as a Fetishist?
No matter what the fetish relates to: Open communication about your addiction is key, rather than confronting a person with your fetish without warning. This way, the play partner can accommodate the fetish within the framework of consensuality – even if it’s just through the choice of outfit. On the other hand, a certain open-mindedness is very important, as well as not judging the Fetishist when he or she opens up.
