What is a fetish party?
Unfortunately, this question cannot be answered briefly. Why? Simply because there isn’t just one type of fetish party; there are a variety of events. Each must be considered individually. There is no fixed definition of what a fetish party looks like, how it proceeds, and what it entails. Even the same party can be perceived differently by each guest. Nonetheless, we would like to summarize the basics for you below.
A fetish party is generally a gathering for Kinksters, Fetishists, BDSM enthusiasts, and the curious. The essential requirement is that it’s an event where BDSM and sex-positivity are welcomed. These tendencies are expected and the event is prepared accordingly. However, not every fetish party is a so-called play party, where BDSM activities and sex are permitted. The main difference from a regular club party is the audience. While everyone in a hip-hop disco or a heavy metal bar enjoys the same music, the common denominator at a fetish party is fetish and BDSM.
Dress to impress
This usually means that the guests dress up in a special way for the evening. For example, in latex, vinyl, leather, fancy boots, harnesses, masks and creative costumes. Fetish parties are the perfect occasion to wear extravagant kinky outfits outside your own four walls. Most events even have a dress code. Although chic evening wear is often permitted, it is easy to feel underdressed if you are the only one wearing a tuxedo or a little black dress among the potpourri of glittering figures. Naked skin is allowed and encouraged at fetish parties, but it’s generally not allowed to show everything.
Dark dungeons and secret circles?
It’s true, you won’t necessarily find advertisements for fetish parties in the daily newspaper or on advertising pillars. But seek and ye shall find. The parties are usually announced online, in BDSM forums, in newsletters or as flyers in sex shops. Or you can find out within the community when something is taking place. But that doesn’t mean that the kinky party people are hiding in dark basements! Of course there are smaller, more intimate parties. But elaborate locations are also rented or entire concert halls are converted.
Entry is by ticket. Large events are sold in advance, while smaller events have a box office. Ticket prices also vary greatly. For example, a weekend ticket to the famous German Fetish Ball can cost up to 120 euros just for admission. Incidentally, anyone over the age of 18 can attend a fetish party.
But what exactly happens at a fetish party?
When hearing the term, one might quickly think of (group) sex, public flagellation, and collective bondage. However, at most fetish parties, dancing is the main activity. The music selection is diverse: techno, house, EBM, dark, gothic, and sometimes even rock and ’80s. People socialize, have drinks, sit or stand together, and chat. They enjoy the special atmosphere together and marvel at how fetishes become tangible and how kinkiness can visually manifest.
But of course BDSM also has its place at a fetish party. So-called play areas are provided. Anyone who wants to play can let off steam here to their heart’s content. Even in front of an audience. The mood and the guests decide how much fetish takes place at the party.
Almost everything is possible, nothing is mandatory
Most of the time, it’s classic practices that can be carried out without much effort, such as whipping. Basically, kinksters are among themselves here. Outfits and gestures that are otherwise difficult in public are allowed here. Kneeling down, leading someone on a leash, massaging feet or serving as a human ashtray can and may be observed here. In short, almost all aspects of personality that would normally cause outrage or at least a few odd looks in public can be lived out.
Classic fetish parties are not about sex and satisfaction. The atmosphere is sexy, but there are limits. For example, sexual intercourse is explicitly forbidden at many events. If you’re mainly interested in playing more intensively, you can attend play parties.
