Discipline – The first D in BDSM

Author: Lynn
A to Z | Basics

What does discipline mean?

The D in BDSM stands for “Dominance” for Discipline, which means simply discipline in German and describes one of the six major sub-areas of BDSM. Discipline is derived from the Latin word “disciplina”, which translates roughly as “teaching”, “breeding” and “systemic order”.

In BDSM this means that a submissive person is adapted and shaped to the wishes of another person through rules and rituals.

(Corporal) punishments and rewards are used as means of implementing discipline. The transition to parenting games that are attributed to other areas, such as so-called D/s dynamics, is sometimes fluid. At first glance, all of this sounds like manipulation and, for some, like cruel childhood memories. But the difference, as is so often the case in BDSM, is that the game of discipline takes place within agreed limits and is based on the voluntariness and consent of the people involved.

The term discipline is also contained in self-discipline, which already shows the voluntary approach. The sub must also want to have the discipline to follow certain rules and control body and mind instead of letting impulses overwhelm them.

What is the challenge with Discipline?

The task and responsibility of the dominant part within the framework of discipline and discipline is to set up demanding rules and consistently check their compliance and to react to them in the event of violations. This also requires fundamental discipline in the part played above. If violations are not responded to, the submissive part will repeatedly question the framework of this established construct, which is absolutely normal and human behavior.

The job of the submissive part is to try to achieve and fulfill the dominant counterpart’s expectations as best as possible. In BDSM, discipline not only means following rules, even if they contradict your own wishes or natural urges, but also consciously deciding against an impulse or resisting a need. This is a difficult learning process.

How does discipline work?

One means of promoting or reinforcing discipline is discipline. If there has been a violation of the rules or if training towards a specific goal has been neglected, it is used to reinforce the learning process.

What is important here is that it is not just about punishments or chastisement, but also about positive reinforcement. Praise and showing the progress made are good options here. Punishments, on the other hand, should be directly related to the offense and allow the person receiving it to improve.

It is important to note what exactly constitutes a violation of the rules. If the bottom tried everything to achieve the goal but still didn’t succeed, there is no violation. One of the top’s tasks is to recognize whether the other person lacks discipline or simply does not achieve the set goal.

Submission and discipline – aren’t they the same thing?

And this is where things get difficult. As mentioned above, some transitions between discipline and the D/s divide are fluid and difficult to define. Education belongs to one area just as much as it is part of the other area. The whole thing only becomes clearer with examples.

  • Top orders Sub to insert a plug. Sub does. Here Sub follows an instruction from Top, which corresponds to the image of a D/s constellation. If, on the other hand, Top sets the rule that Sub has to insert a plug every day at time X and then checks whether Sub obeys this rule, we come into the area of Discipline.

  • Sub has been banned from saying a certain word. Every time sub does it anyway, he or she is gagged for a certain period of time. This is a discipline. If during a session the sub is told to be quiet, but then makes noises and is punished with a slap in the face, for example, it is a punishment in the D/s context.

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