How open can sexuality be today? How natural is it to talk about BDSM, fetishes, and kink – not just behind closed doors and within the scene, but in the mainstream of urban nightlife, on social media platforms, and even in the fashion world? These and other questions were at the heart of a recent episode of the “Rein & Raus” podcast, featuring Marina, founder of Deviance, as a guest.
And this was not the first time she joined the show. Marina’s first conversation with host Jones took place about four years ago. Back then, the focus was mainly on the kink scene itself. This time, the key question was how the community has changed since their last talk. Since the episode is in German, we summarized the most important takeaways for you here.
Back then, BDSM was primarily a subcultural phenomenon that often took place behind closed doors. Today, we encounter elements of kink almost naturally – be it at themed parties, in techno-driven club nights, or expressed through street-fashion looks. At least that’s how it might seem. But, as is often the case, things are not that simple. This development raises questions: Is BDSM losing its status as an intriguingly hidden niche? Are the scene’s values fading, or are new opportunities emerging for exchange, education, and networking?
From insider tip to talking point?
In the podcast episode, Marina explains how BDSM and kink have recently pushed further into the public eye. It’s become easier to talk about, more open, and there are new avenues to explore. At the same time, we find ourselves in a state of tension: While munches, niche events, and personal exchanges among like-minded people used to dominate, we now see themed parties and kink-inspired fashion styles popping up everywhere. This can be great for breaking down taboos, but it also makes it harder to recognize the core essence of what BDSM and kink represent.
Openness is great because it makes it easier for newcomers to find information. They no longer have to secretly Google terms or struggle to find their way around. They can more easily ask, “Is this for me?” and finally get honest answers. At the same time, we know that BDSM is more than just a chic outfit or a clichéd costume. It’s a space for genuine, consensual experimentation. A place where you can rediscover yourself and others.
Digitalization plays a decisive role here. This trend has accelerated even further due to the pandemic, when offline meetups and gatherings were no longer really possible. As a result, those interested began to connect even more intensively across regional boundaries. International contacts, the transfer of knowledge, and exploring personal interests together all became so much more accessible.
Even now, the online world provides low-threshold entry points for anyone who finds in-person gatherings unfamiliar or intimidating. Whether you’re cautiously exploring or purposefully delving into specific interests, digital communities enable you to meet like-minded individuals without having to immediately reveal yourself in real life.
Beware of diluting the content?
At the same time, questions arise about the depth and quality of the emerging discourse. Where once symbols, rituals, and practices were clearly coded, much of it has now become just a theme or a style. While this can spark curiosity, it can also lead to uncertainty: What does a collar mean if it becomes just another fashionable accessory? How can you tell who genuinely understands the values and rules of BDSM and is willing to engage in true, consensual play?
Here it helps to shift the focus from mere image to the substance: BDSM is more than an outfit—it’s a dynamic culture of mindfulness, communication, and ongoing learning. Quality over quantity is the motto. Anyone seriously wanting to dive in should seek out platforms that provide real expertise and offer a guiding hand to newcomers.
Knowledge that leads forward: The future lies in networking
The most valuable resources remain the exchange of experience and continuous development. Reliable content—like that found in blogs, magazines, and platforms such as Deviance – serves as a steadfast companion. It provides knowledge, orientation, and practical tips to safely explore fetishes and shape your sexuality with confidence and self-determination. In this way, a community emerges that not only celebrates but also educates – at a time when there is finally more open discussion about sex, kink, and BDSM.
A look into the future of the kink scene
What does the increasing visibility of BDSM in everyday life mean for the coming years? The key change in recent years isn’t that BDSM and kink have become “acceptable”. Rather, it’s the opportunity to communicate deeper values to a broader audience.
We see a chance to raise awareness of consent, respect, and understanding. In the podcast episode, it becomes clear that we’re far from the finish line. There are still platforms and social media channels that prefer to turn a blind eye or shut down the conversation rather than allowing open discourse. Yet, new pathways and networks are emerging, enabling those interested to connect better than ever before.
The takeaway from the conversation? Let’s celebrate the diversity that’s currently unfolding. But let’s also not forget why we embarked on this journey in the first place – to make BDSM, kink, and fetish visible as conscious, empathetic, and inspiring worlds. Thanks to podcasts like “Rein & Raus” and platforms like Deviance, we can grow together, learn from one another, and create something truly unique within this community.
