What are candles used for in a BDSM context?
Candles are used in BDSM as part of wax play, a form of play in which hot wax is dripped onto a person’s body. Some find the pain pleasurable, others see it as punishment. For others, candle play is about the sensory experience itself. Quite apart from the pain.
Even many people who can’t or don’t want to do anything with BDSM enjoy it very much. Many combine the use of candles with other utensils such as blindfolds or ice cubes to intensify the sensual experience even more.
Why play with candles?
As with many practices, enduring pain, the associated devotion and submissiveness, but also the element of surprise play a role in BDSM play with candles. For some, the wax even acts as a kind of marker.
In addition, the visual aspect is not neglected when playing with candles. The flame and the atmospheric glow of a candle are in themselves a sight that is often associated with eroticism. A body covered in wax is also a very aesthetic image. So is the wince when hot wax hits the skin.
What do I have to consider when using BDSM candles?
It may sound simple, but wherever wax is dripped, an open flame is not far away. And it should not be left unattended, even in the heat of the moment. So make sure you have a safe candle holder ready before the session starts. Keep flammable materials and hair out of reach of the flame. Also make sure that hair does not accidentally come into contact with wax. As splashes are unavoidable, especially when dripping from a great height, the surrounding area should be protected from them. For example, with a special sheet or old towels.
The higher the candle is held, the cooler the wax hits the skin. Start from a distance of around 50 centimetres and slowly get closer to get a feel for how it feels. Even if you are careful, temporary redness may appear on the skin. You can cool these with ice cubes during the game. The areas should be treated after the game at the latest.
For candles with a larger diameter, such as pillar candles, it should also be noted that they become more sensitive to pressure the further they burn towards the base. The hot wax could pour over your hand and body like a torrent if the soft, heated base breaks under too much pressure.
What do I need to consider when buying?
Choosing the right candle is the be-all and end-all when playing BDSM with candles. Basically, the higher the kerosene content, the lower the melting point. Industrially manufactured candles, scented candles and perfumed candles have a medium to very high proportion of kerosene. Here, too, a distinction must be made as to whether the kerosene is soft, medium or hard. The softer the kerosene, the lower the melting point and the more suitable for beginners.
Massage candles are particularly pleasant and are specially designed to liquefy at low temperatures. Under no circumstances should candles made from beeswax or tea lights be used. These can cause burns and blisters on the skin.
Also beware of colored and very decorative candles. Dyes and brighteners can become hotter than the wax itself. If they get on the skin, this can lead to burns. These can even be so severe that the color is literally burned into the skin and remains visible even after it has healed. So it’s better to stay away from the red Christmas candles, even if they look very tempting. The good news is that many erotic and BDSM stores stock candles in various colors and designs specially designed for this type of wax play. Just ask for advice.
Parts of this text were first published on Baumwollseil.de, one of Germany’s first online shops for kink, eroticism, and BDSM, and were kindly provided to Deviance.
