What is AB/DL?
AB/DL stands for Adult Baby / Diaper Lover. It describes people who want to be treated as a toddler or baby within a role-play or who want to treat others that way. AB/DL is a form of ageplay, which is divided into different age groups: Middle (child and teenager age), Littles (toddlers to children), and Babies. In this play, the Bottom takes on the role of a toddler or baby. Adult behaviors are discarded: one crawls instead of walking, the language changes, and clothing items such as bodysuits, bibs, and pacifiers are often used. The environment is also designed to be child-friendly. A particular fetish is the preference for diapers, which is often associated with Autonepiophilia (also called “adult baby syndrome”).
The person in the Top role takes on the role of Mommy or Daddy, but terms like Caretaker or Caregiver are also used. He or she assumes a caring parental position: feeding, playing, changing diapers, and being the primary caregiver for the Bottom.
It’s important to know: The two preferences do not necessarily have to be connected. Someone with a diaper fetish does not automatically have an interest in acting as a toddler. Not all Littles have a fetish for diapers. The term AB/DL has been coined due to the frequent overlap of these preferences. AB/DLs can also play alone or with another “toddler.” A Top is not necessarily required; it is actually a popular form of solo BDSM. A detailed breakdown of this can be found here.
Important: AB/DL is one of the most misunderstood kinks. People with this preference are not attracted by infants but live out a form of infantilism and bring out childlike personality aspects in their roleplay.
What can AB/DL look like?
AB/DL is a broad term – just as every child is unique, so are the preferred activities. For Diaper Lovers, it’s about wearing diapers. The process of putting on, wearing, wetting, and changing the diaper can be stimulating. For some, it’s also associated with a feeling of shame or degradation, while for others, wearing diapers is sexually arousing. Many, however, simply find warmth and comfort in diapers, as two fetishists told us in an interview.
Another aspect of AB/DL is childlike play and activities. Many enjoy simple activities like puzzles, coloring, or cuddling with their teddy bears to escape the adult world. These simple activities, which can be experienced in a safe, judgment-free space, bring inner peace and joy. Eating colorful children’s foods with their fingers can also be a pleasure, something adults often deny themselves. It’s about the feeling of carefreeness.
The roleplay between adults and toddlers is an important part of this kink. The classic roles are often mother and father, but Caretaker and Babysitter are also commonly chosen. The Top cares for the toddler, plays with them, and also takes on a parental role. This can range from a brief session to a long-term dynamic.
What roles are related to AB/DL?
On the submissive side, there are gradations between Middle and Little. Some Subs also enjoy this intimate and affectionate form of play. There are parallels to Pet Play, as in both cases, the role of a more helpless being is taken on, showing a certain dependency. In general, any Bottom with corresponding preferences may find themselves in this category.
Who fits this?
Ideally, someone who enjoys taking responsibility and having a caring role in the play. The perfect counterpart would be a Mommy, Daddy, or a Caretaker. But Disciplinarians also enjoy the parenting aspect. Depending on the extent of the preference, any other Top or Dom who enjoys roleplay and childlike activities could be a good fit for an AB/DL.
How do I know if I’m an Adult Baby or Diaper Lover?
Do you feel the need to use a lot of colors in every coloring book, eat Dino nuggets, or simply leave the adult world behind? Do you find relaxation in simple activities and shedding adult behaviors? If you can imagine someone caring for you and you’d like to be in a child-friendly environment, AB/DL might be just right for you.
As an AB/DL, it’s important that…
You carefully consider who you engage in your roleplay with. In Little Space, you’re particularly vulnerable and defenseless, which could unfortunately be exploited. Clear communication of your limits, such as rejecting sexual practices (“non-sexual little”) or your personal relationship with diapers, is crucial.
If your desire to regress to childhood is potentially traumatic, you should first discuss your desires with a psychologist. Ideally, you and your partner have already been in a long-term relationship, know each other inside and out, and trust each other on all levels. This is especially important because a well-executed Caregiver-Little Play can be a deeply intimate and emotional experience.
Tips and More!
BDSM YouTuber Evie Lupine has posted a video about AB/DL, in which she also describes various subforms like Princesses, CG/L, and other dynamics.
