A common time has been found, a suitable location has been chosen, and the anticipation is high: the first date with a new person. But what can and should you talk about once the initial small talk is over, without diving straight into kink talk? What can you ask your date? What should you avoid?
The choice of conversation can be huge and funny at the same time, especially on a first date. Sometimes, however, you just sit across from each other in silence and nervously and don’t really know how or what to start with. If BDSM is added to the mix, it can be a real challenge to manage the balancing act between kink and everyday life. But fortunately they exist: the innocuous and sometimes dangerous conversation starters.
Our questions for kinky dates
We have put together a small questionnaire for your first kinky date to make it easier for you to get started! Regardless of whether you’re a Dom, Sub, Switch or don’t know what you are yet, here are a few topic suggestions to get the conversation rolling:
Questions to get to know each other better:
- What would you like to learn and what would you like to be better at?
- What is your favorite bad joke?
- What is your pet peeve, your personal unusual dislike?
- Did you have an awkward teenage phase?
- What can you talk about forever without having to google anything?
What is your favorite party pump-up song?
- Which cartoon character would you have liked to have as a best friend?
- Where would you like to live?
Date questions that get to the heart of the matter:
What does your role/fetish/preference look like for you in practice?
Are you poly? If so, for how long and what are the most unexpected problems?
- Where do you learn about BDSM?
How did you realize you were into BDSM (What’s your radioactive spiderbite into Kink?)?
- Which of your preferences is most important to you?
- What three qualities do you need in a partner?
What is a dealbreaker for you?
What’s on your fucket list, i.e. your list of things you definitely want to try out sexually?
Of course, these questions are not guidelines, but are intended to give you some impetus if the conversation stalls, doesn’t even get going or if nervousness blocks the flow of the conversation. Otherwise: Enjoy your first kinky date and all the conversations that, ideally, arise naturally. And if not, this list will give you a small guide to solve many independent topics.
